Marriage Counselling

ROLE OF THE WIFE IN THE BIBLE-(A Wife, A Mother of the Family).

 God’s Plan for the Wife

The role of the wife is clearly described in the Bible. Although males and females are equal in relationship to Christ, the Bible gives specific roles to both the husband and the wife in marriage.

As wives, we are given these roles, among others:

Mentors – Titus 2:4-5 says, “Then they can train the younger women to love their

husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

Witnesses – 1 Peter 3:1 says, “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”

Examples – Be a leader by sample: 1 Timothy 3:11 says, “In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.



The wife role in the Bible, it is important to understand how God designed the family unit. There are ranks described—Christ, the husband, the wife, and then the children. You would not expect to walk into a doctor’s office and be greeted by the doctor, measured and weighed by the receptionist, and then treated by the nurse. Right? There are certain orders to things because that’s what works. It’s the same way with God’s design in the family unit. It works smoothly, when done His way.

God designed the husband as the leader of the home (1 Corinthians 11:3Ephesians 5:23). The Bible describes this leadership as loving—not dictatorial, condescending, or patronizing of his wife or children. In fact, a husband’s leadership is compared to Jesus’ love for the church. This love is one of mercy, forgiveness, compassion, and selflessness. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word” (Ephesians 5:25-26).

The wife’s role in the marriage. Ephesians 5:22-24 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING.
Furthermore, the Bible in Colossians 3:18-19 made it obvious, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” Bible made it cleared that love and respect characterize the roles of both husbands and wives. If these are present, then authority, headship, love, and submission will be no problem for either spouse.


“The role we have as wives is that of encouraging and helping our husbands. When we try to make it any more, or any less, that’s when we run into trouble. My mom used to teach a young married couples class, and I will never forget her most ‘valuable nugget’ of truth. She always told them that the husband is the head of the home, and the wife is the neck. The neck supports the head, and helps the head to fulfill its duties.”



In Proverbs 31 the Bible emphasized on honorable Woman role, stipulated the worth to her husband and family, how she cares for those who need her, how she provides for her family, protects them, and shares her strength with others. She fulfills her responsibilities with grace and strength. Also emphasized that a wife is a blessing to her husband. She is worth more than rubies! Wives can follow her example by living in the wisdom of God.

In addition, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate” (Proverbs 31:10-31).

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L/S/E/S. E. O. Adegoke



As an important part of His plan of happiness, Heavenly Father has appointed men to become husbands and fathers. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families”

Men are to marry and to cherish their wives

What men have been influential in your life? Why did they have such an effect on you? The divinely appointed roles of men. There are no more important roles for a man than the roles of husband and father. As men seek to righteously fulfill these roles, they become more like their Father in Heaven.

  • Husbands are to love their wives as Jesus Christloved the Church.)
  • What are some ways in which Jesus Christ shows His love for the Church?
  • What could husbands do to emulate Jesus Christ in the way they treat their wives?

Ephesians 5:25

Christ loved the church and its people so much that he voluntarily endured persecution for them, suffered humiliating indignities for them, stoically withstood pain and physical abuse for them, and finally gave his precious life for them.

“When the husband is ready to treat his household in that manner, not only the wife but all the family will respond to his leadership” In what ways might a father make sacrifices for his family in our day?

Testify that Heavenly Father wants men to strive to be righteous husbands.

Fathers are to preside in righteousness

what our Heavenly Father expects of fathers.

  • What does the word presidemean? (To give guidance and direction to others.)
  • How could remembering the phrase “by divine design” help a man to fulfill the
  • Responsibilities God has given to fathers?

For better understand how a father is to preside in the home

Family is an assembly of people who have marital relation and blood related individuals, living under the same roof. A group of many families living together is considered a society. In other words, family is a cell of a modern society. Each and every individual has the responsibility of building up the family in order to create a happy family. In the current world, the man plays a very special role which affects not only his current family but also later generations.

“Men are the ones who build the house, while women are the one who create the home”, we can see that the man is always the strong one, who does the heaviest work for his family, but it does not mean that the man’s role is just to support the family in financing, building the house, providing settlement then living all the rest of the family’s duties to the woman to do all the household chores such as raising children or house caring, the man and the woman have to share with each other about every aspect of living life and family’s side. Being a man of the family is not a simple thing, he has to show all of his strengths to build up his family which seems to be a difficult work for all men in the world.

Dividing the responsibilities in a family is different, depend on the culture. For instance, it is common for a Japanese household that the husband is the one who goes to work, giving financial support for the whole family, while the wife usually retreats from her previous work, willingly take care of all the house chores and raising children. Rarely, the husband will do some part of the chores when he feels like to, or under “pressure” from other parties (his spouse, children, etc.). In this situation, the man of the family becomes the main financial provider. In the modern life, other “hard works”, such as fixing or maintaining the house’s equipment can be done by paying to a third party service, thus making money becomes the most important assignment that the man has to concentrate on.

Aside from that, the man in the house must also have well personality, good insight and knowledgeable. Moreover, contributing to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family are all necessary. In order to do this, he must recognise that there are other elements other than money are needed to be provided. The man mainly takes this part in family’s duties.

When the need of love and financial are fulfilled, the woman will need a strong man to protect her family. That is an important duty of the husband. Not only protecting the family, the man should also be the first one to solve all the problems.

That does not mean that the husband is the only one who has to do all the problem-solving part, but that he should do it instead of waiting for his partner to ask for help or push him up. A role-model husband is not the one who knows everything or does everything, but the one who has the ability to balance every duty, giving it the most suitable priority.

Nowadays, there are many women choose to be single mothers. They are confident that even when lacking the support of the men, they can still be able to live well, raising the children to become good people without the need of their children’s father. However, that will not give the children all the care they need, as a proverb in Vietnamese: “the child without his/her father is similar to the house without its roof”.

On the other hand, the mother cannot teach her child all the skills that the child’s father can do. No matter how masculine the woman is, there are always tasks that only men can do. Become a mother is a proof of how the feminine she is already. How can she raise her son to become a real man, without the affection of all the feminine she has? And how can she give her precious girl a good imagine of the daughter’s future partner? They will just simply take all the trait of their only parent, thus hardening all the tasks on the mother, will may not relevant at early age, but become more clearly as they grow up.

Furthermore, children are always longed more love and care, and will easily get jealous if they see that they are not getting as much attention as other kids. Whenever they see other children’s fathers sending them to school, or playing sport together, immediately there will be countless questions arise in the lonely child mind: “Do I have a father? Who is my father? Why had he never appeared in my life?” As the consequence, all that questions will be turned to the mother, which will surely be in an uncomfortable situation when being asked like that. At that time, is there any explanation that understand able to the children without hurting them, or will other lies be given that put the children in deeper confusion?

A life without a man in the family will cause many difficulties to the woman. For now she will have to do all the house works, while taking care of the kids and keeping the family’s financial situation at an acceptable rate. How does she supposed to do all that jobs at the same time? If the woman is in a rich family, or she already has a well-paying job, then the tasks can be less pressuring. However, those are only rare exceptions. On the contrary, many single mothers having trouble balancing the duties all at once. Hence, she will need a man to share all the weight on her shoulder, in order to keep the family happy and affluent at all time. Taking care of the children must not come from the thought that is it the duty as the parents, but from the immeasurable and unconditional love to their blood related children.

For a girl, the father is usually taken as the model for her boy friend or future life partner. If the relationship between father and daughter is close and they often have conservations together, the girl will be more confident in choosing boyfriend, better understanding of the opposite gender, thus avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary worries. As a female, when the girl gets dressed, she wants to be the centre of the attentions, so if the father can understand and commend on her dresses, it will affect to her way of dressing and living and then leading to a familiar life suitable to her family and society.

A boy always has his secret which is not easy to say out and he is easy to be influent by his friends’ bad habits, if he has a good guider who encourage his mind and knowledge, he will be prevented from the wrong way in his life. And the boy is deeply getting his father character’s effect. If a boy grow up without a father, he cannot get along well with all the boy’s problems, mother cannot share all the secrets with her son. Boys are more difficult, they often act like his father does.


In conclusion, the man in the family plays a very important role in the family. He has to perform the duty of not only the husband, the father but also the mental leader. As a husband, he has to understand and sympathises with his wife, his soul-mate. As a father, he has the responsibility to teach his son and daughter the skills needed to become good people. As a mental leader, he has to remain calm and strong in any situations. It is not easy to perform all those tasks perfectly simultaneously, but with a strong heart and a clear determination, nothing is impossible.

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